Double Dragon II: The Revenge (1988)

Beat on Normal then Hard. The first half of the game on Normal was just right; fun and satisfying beating enemies up. I mostly did punch combos with the occasional jump kick. It was somewhat engaging choosing the correct button based on the direction of the enemy but the reverse kick did not seem useful. At no point was it useful to kick a behind enemy when surrounded as whichever enemy was not attacked would easily smack me to disrupt any combo. Jump kick was the best way out. The game got steadily worse as the levels went on due to more and more platforming. From occasional drops that enemies could knock me into, to a series of logs across a river, to the annoying vehicle boss, to the god awful Castlevania wannabe level with vanishing platforms, to the fucking conveyor belt room at the beginning of level 7 that took dozens of attempts. I eventually figured out the trick was to walk against the 2nd conveyor to get enough distance to not overshoot the last platform. Some of the worst platforming I have ever seen, in a game with no dedicated jump button no less! And with stiff controls that lacked any kind of mid air course correction. It ruined the game. I can't even imagine playing this without save states.

If all that platforming was not bad enough I had to do it all again on Hard to fight the final boss. Unlike on Normal, I put on 30 frames per second mode. The first half of the game was still pretty good. The enemies were a bit tougher and more likely to push through my attacks to hit me. It was not enough to only do simple punch combos, especially against the big guys. I did learn the moves from a guide. I learned the 3 punch grapple combo and how to convert that into max damage or a throw, but it seemed like the enemies that needed that much punishment could not be grappled. I could not reliably pull off cyclone kick but did get decent at hyper uppercut. I experimented with the reverse kick against the big guys thinking it might out range them but it did not help. Instead I killed them with a perfect ranged jump kick that was a feint to make them duck so I could hyper uppercut them to the face. I did hyper knee a few times, including knocking the 2nd disappearing boss into spikes. The ninjas were the worst enemies, constantly jumping around, throwing, and pincer attacking. It was save scum trial and error to see what I could actually land. On both difficulties I made use of the invincibility from losing a life to pummel that last ninja group. The final 2 bosses were much harder on Hard but not too bad. I got them with a mix of hyper uppercuts, jump kicks, reverse kicks and regular punches.

This game was worse than the original because of the extremely difficult platforming. At least in the first game the platforming was easy. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put this much obnoxious platforming in a beat em up with such terrible jump mechanics and controls needs a solid fist to the face. This game missed the point of a beat em up; the power fantasy of kicking the shit out of people and inserting fist and weapons into faces. Unfortunately the weapons on this game were also done wrong because they disappeared way too quickly, barely giving any time to have fun with them. The first half of the game was 7 or 8 while the platforming was 3 to 4. I'll average that out to

6.0/10