History:
Never heard of this game before. Not even kind of.

Expectations:
I've read it's like Contra for people who aren't skilled enough to beat Contra. I sure hope that's the case! I like run and gun games so I'm hoping to have some fun with this one.

Night 1:

Hey look! It's a Contra-like game made by Konami! Surely a sign of good things to come.

...

Nope!

Ugh, okay, I feel like I've been generally negative in these reviews, and I really don't want it to be like that. Maybe I feel like by starting with R.B.I. Baseball I was just setting the pace for myself and I've carried that attitude with. Don't get me wrong, there's been plenty of gems and surprises along the way. Faxanadu, Batman, Dodge Ball, Micro Machines - all games I'd never have otherwise played.

...But then there's entries like this. Who put this game above Batman? Anyway, I'm going to try to focus on the positive here after my first night of play.

Knife you! So, the only comparison one could possibly draw to Contra is that Russian Rush'n Attack has you moving left and right... and... you die a lot, for seemingly and actually unfair reasons. This is like someone at Konami got really excited about their proof of concept that would one day evolve into Contra, and decided to release this thing as a real game. This is like an early access NES game.

Okay, I'm done... For now.

So the US government has seen fit to send you deep into enemy territory armed with only your combat knife and beret like you're freaking Brock Samson. The objective of any given level is to get from the left side of the map to the right side of the map while enemies spawn from both sides of the screen and run at you and you stab them. Sometimes they do a jump kick and you must respond with a jump stab. Sometimes they shoot at you, and sometimes they have a bazooka that they don't shoot at you but that you can pick up. Just like bazookas in real life these bazookas can fire off three rounds before despawning, so it's best to hold on to it until the end encounter of the level. Oh and there's land mines which must be jumped over.

Hey let's talk jumping! It's awful! I've come to terms with the fact that many games from the 8-bit generate use up on the d-pad as the jump button, and considering the limited number of buttons on the controller, I completely understand why. That said, I don't have to like it, especially it's unnecessary and poor for other reasons. The A button is reserved specifically for the bazooka, which you'll have for about 10% of any given level... stupid. Not the limited nature of the 'zooka, but the fact that you lose having a jump button for it. Now mechanics. Levels have ladders, mostly for no good reason. You can walk past these ladders with no issue, but try and jump near a ladder and boom, you're stuck in midair until you realize you mistake just in time to die because you got clipped by an enemy's hair!

That's right. brushing pixels with an enemy, having a bullet enter the corner of your rectangular hitbox, or getting hit by a mild gust of wind will all render you immediately dead. Become dead too many times (and you will) and you'll find yourself back at the title screen. I don't have a problem with hard games, but this one's deep into super-cheap territory.

More than all that though, it's just not fun! I mean, it can be, in the way that playing Whack-a-Mole without a hammer is fun, until it isn't, then it's boring.

Also, I'm pretty sure I've playing this game before...

Later...

At the behest of my household I sat down to give the game another shot, and I'm finding there's something weirdly addicting about it. Everything I said above holds true, but I just can't stop trying to progress further!

Face knife! I think it's the fact that as I play through the levels more and more (and more) I start learning the patterns, and I'm having an uncomfortable amount of fun executing them. One highlight was figuring out how to hop and knife through the last part of Stage 2 to maintain momentum through the guard towers. I'm consistently making it to Stage 3 now, which is halfway through the game.

Then I asked for help...

I really hate it when co-op games almost make you feel penalized for bringing a friend *cough*Battletoads*cough* so I was happy to see that having someone come help me stab Not-Russians was not at all detracting from the gameplay, but instead very fun.

We still couldn't beat the game tonight, but it was enough for me to keep trying for another day or so!

Night 2:

I believe this is going to fall into the best effort category, but I really am trying! Spent another couple hours in both single player and multiplayer and the muscle memory is definitely starting to set in. Progress is being made, as I con fairly consistently make it to Level 4. Still, I'm really not sure if I can actually classify this game as "fun" or not. It's an arcade port, and I could definitely see the appeal in dropping quarters into a Rush'n Attack machine with a crowd of people around you waiting for their turn, but on a home console, I'm not so sure...

I'll give this game at least one more night before burying it in the backyard...

Night 3:

Day three came a day late, but it did happen, and it happened poorly... I'm pretty much hitting the same roadblocks I have been, and while progress is being made, the game isn't going to be beaten any time soon. I'm gonna have to call it here.

Conclusion:
I still feel the same way about this game now as I did before; I think it's a fun diversion that would fit great in an arcade, but at home the tedium sets in fairly quickly.

Play it Again?
Yeah, probably. This is definitely a fun co-op title to pull off the shelf to kill a good 30 minutes or so before you start assaulting the TV.

Personal Score: