But the real question should be: What is the demographic for this game? Seriously, I think you had to be there in 2002 at the perfect time to even enjoy what this game has to offer, and then later on shroud that in a feeling of Nostalgia. it's hard to discover what demographic Kingdom Hearts is for exactly, but I guess it being considered a successful game means it found one? Here's a statement of my interest in this series: Since middle school I wanted to play Kingdom Hearts so much, I remember being amazed at Kingdom Hearts 2 and having fuzzy memories of the first game and stopping around Alice? I think I borrowed it from a friend back then.
Regardless I will start with this statement: This game has NOT AGED WELL AT ALL. It is extremely dated and it is a perfect example of Style over Substance... Which is ironic to be saying, because there is a lot of quantity in terms of style.
Seriously, I kinda get why it was favored when it came out in 2002 (That's basically 2 decades ago my how time flies), I'm finally being able to play the game with Game Pass on an XBOX One with HD models, but I'm sure the models looked good when the game came out too, if not identically but just a little more fuzzy which your old ass CRT TV would probably make you ignore the pixels anyways. The game is colorful, and goes out to render entire worlds of Disney, and as far as Disney represented in video games go, this is the best they have been represented ever. There's unique textures for worlds, and sometimes the main characters even have entirely new models to fit the current world they are in.
Sometimes characters have that classic early 2000s and early 90s textured face animation with a flappy mouth but in other occasions, Disney characters have fully animated 3D moving mouths. So basically: Animations are cool, everything is still flashy and looks good despite being an almost 20 year old game, and seeing them in 60fps on Xbox One is cool too.
I've been told by a lot of fans that this game does not start off good, which isn't the most motivating thing to hear from fans "Oh keep in mind it's not good". Kingdom Hearts starts with some of the most sluggish combats ever, well, maybe sluggish isn't the best term for it, I'd call the combat "Stiff" at first, it's obvious they put a lot of effort into making Sora seem animated with every swing of the keyblade, but as a result, all of the attacks have this stiff weight to them and around the very first hours of this game, that are very painful, it is just the same 3 repetitive swings over and over. You'll notice right away from the start that there are Final Fantasy characters just around and across the whole game, what kinda person are they? Doesn't matter. All Final Fantasy characters are a shell of what they are, they're just there as references or tropes. Kinda funny they put a gunblade in a kid's game though. Everything else feels censored, nobody "dies" and Aladdin is said to be a "treasure hunter" which is funny to me but a gun? Yeah sure.
The game starts off with you being just dropped into just what seems like a abandoned stowaway island with couple of kids including a child version of the most racist character ever in a lord of the flies island. Oh and by racist I mean Wakka, he's just there in child form, with JNCO jeans. At least Wakka for some reason gets more recognition than, let's say... Sora's mom, who nobody knows anything about and is not to be seen ever again. Feel free to theorise this is all a coma from a Disney fan starting now and Sora has been down the well ever since and his mom never found him.
So far for the past 2 hours the type of game it is is tapping one button forever and winning easily, Squall from Final Fantasy VII tells a random child to go with 2 talking animals and that it is your only choice as the chosen one, chosen one stories are so silly honestly, video games are a fascinating medium! Capcom Vs Marvel, Final Fantasy characters and Disney worlds in a multiverse! Whatever! Who cares. Some say Kingdom Hearts was successful because kids wanted to be edge by their mom wouldn't allow them to buy anything that wasn't Disney. It's everyone's closest guess: It definitely does exist for kids in that transition stage of child getting into edgy stuff, and for that it has this appealing pre-teen sense to it. But where is the edgy stuff I was promised? Apparently I was anticipating it a little too early and the sequel is what made the series infamous for that.
Well, you expect story in this? Well I don't know what to tell you that if you're looking for good writing or a good story, there's really not much here to offer to you, I mean... It's a game about Disney multiverses attached with flimsy strings. You will never not convince me throwing shit on the wall is good writing, it's like the worst kind of writing there is. By that point you are a newgrounds flash animator in 2001, it's nothing new to just try and combine multiple brands or licenses into one silly excuse to explore all of it. The story gets really infamously "melodramatic" ONLY around the end, because as you probably know, this game spawned a fandom obsessed with soap opera-level acting built on the simplest of writing, most people when getting into Kingdom Hearts nowadays brace themselves for that, in fact I think most just skip to Kingdom Hearts 2 and maybe I should have as well, I've heard everything was improved including the pacing. And OH MAN the pacing in this game is just AWFUL.
My friend asked me around that point "Are you enjoying Kingdom Hearts?" and I thought to myself, no, not much really, it's so far been mediocre. Kingdom Hearts is so so so bare bones and so so dry with it's combat at first it is common that most people are driven away. The most popular defence around this series is: Why should anyone care about the weight and enjoyment in kingdom hearts if you can just mash buttons, and heal, and that's it, that's the whole gist of the game and all you can gain of satisfaction from it. and I kinda get it, Kingdom Hearts was meant for children, it was meant for probably toddlers wanting to get into the Hack 'n Slash genre. It's Hack n slash for babies!
But even looking at it that way, that doesn't make much sense, ok maybe kids back in the day didn't have much to do and would love getting stuck on Traverse town with the cryptid cutscene triggered progression, again this is a 2002 game, back when you could get stuck and you just had to explore and kill enemies that spawn endlessly for fun if you want. But, means to progress in Kingdom Hearts are REALLY really awfully cryptic, that is no exegeration, you'll sooner or later figure it out but sometimes it feels like a walkthrough seller. And it's in such closed spaces too which makes that even more unfathanamble. Going back to the awful pacing: The game just unloads on ya once you get stuck in traverse town long enough and now you get to get stuck elsewhere... To like DEEP JUNGLE. Oh man, this is where the REAL challenge starts.
Deep Jungle is where people make it or break it, I've heard that most kids that had Kingdom Hearts hated this section quite a lot, and it's apparently where a lot of people stop. I think a perfect example of bad level design is deep jungle, it’s just around 4 small locations you keep going back and forth trying to see if you trigger a cutscene to progress, not only that but it is very vague about what you should be going next or what location is even viable for you, with precise platforming it makes it seem as if you can almost jump across the vines, well you can't! You're just supposed to know you unlock better jumping later on, it's just there to drive you mad and make you ignore the other path that goes to the main story location. It is the most precise jumping ever and I've heard others spent a lot of hours on it too. You'll be amazed at how Kingdom Heart's minimalist approach to cube-shaped zones manages to be so confusing. Kids who grew up with Kingdom Hearts in 2002 must of had the patience of a saint to even progress beyond Deep Jungle. They say Tarzan never returned to Kingdom Hearts series because he deserved to die because of Deep Jungle (note: this is a joke, it's mostly because of copyright issues). Oh and it'll teach you one thing: the platforming in Kingdom Hearts is not good.
I'm sorry to be one of those people who says a "game gets good hours in" but, I'd say that Kingdom Hearts gets good 6 hours in, yep, 6 hours in, that's when you unlock dodging, a bigger combo, most magic, and healing, then it gets sorta more engaging and the game score goes from a 2/5 to a 3/5. If you tolerated the stiff and sluggish intro segments that much, you are rewarded with an odd difficulty spike that comes out of nowhere, but I'd say around Atlantic (most people say it starts around Deep Jungle but Deep jungle was easy outside of it's initial confusion without a walkthrough), which is is a level that as soon as it started, I wanted it to end. Imagine taking all of the aspects you are getting used to and only starting to enjoy get removed and just you're put in a section where you don't even wanna have the hassle of fighting the enemies due to how you gotta dive down to grab the munnies.
Kingdom Hearts goes out to do many things (like try and act like a hack 'n slash game, or a final fantasy, or even include platforming), most of which it doesn't do very well, a great example of that is the Gummi ship segments that are just boring, really that's it, you don't need to buy any parts throughout the whole game, it's completely useless and optional, you just wanna warp, you can hold the shoot button and hope they're over. That's literally it, it's completely useless.
The first 6 hours of the game doesn't unlock warp travel and you gotta do it several times just to go back to levels when you get stuck at them. This was very painful at the start because if you wanted to buy items you had to go all the way back to Traverse town, it's not the best idea to just make shops available at one hubworld least to say. But annoyance asside you get used to it, there's not much to do there anyways.
Around the second wave of worlds the combat gets more intense and you actually start dying towards common battles due to how many enemies the place is spawning at once at you, by that point you've kinda unlocked everything too so you get to experiment with your new spells, you're flying across the place and all that, and muttering the phrase to myself "Oh Aerial is a good healer" which is I'll admit kinda funny. The absurdity gets to you, and the game isn't bad enough anymore to the point it's unplayable, however, if it did continue along the same quality it was around the first 6 hours, which most stopped playing, I totally get why people stopped playing thinking later on might just be more of the same.
However if you do not have the patience for many boring segments, well, the general dull feel and minor issues in levels is followed throughout the whole game really, some bosses are interesting I will admit, they kinda get tricky later on and aren't just "SPAM ATTACK and heal", but it has just enough of that early repetition 2000 meh game feel and small times in which it's a little satisfying that keeps you hooked under a sunken fallacy cost, that and you're kinda curious what they'll do with the Disney properties.
Which again, probably the whole reason this game even exists, it's all for the sake of Disney, it shows so much in Kingdom Hearts, there's barely anything in the first 10 hours for you to care about Sora, he's just there as a generic insert character to explore Disney worlds, Square just really was throwning excuses just for the sake of exploring all of that. Square doesn't even own this game it's Disney who owns it and I wanted to get over with Kingdom Hearts fully which has been on my bucket list with the entire anthology on Xbox Game Pass because I know for sure that after Disney is responsible for killing the entire state of Florida by re-opening during a pandemic with a virus that is said to give halluciations and seizures, we can never come back to looking at this monopoly without thinking about that.
I mean even with that, I think most people cannot come back to Disney, If you're reading a review on a game website chances are you read many other criticisms and have grown to think that Disney is overrated. And it's not like Disney is given much justice in this work either, it's just small snippets and references too, they're given more justice than final fantasy characters but the whole soul is gone, the whole message is thrown away for some easy video game quest, it would have probably made more sense if they approached in a Roger Rabbit style in which all of the characters are actors rather than completely erase everything except the general idea a Japanese developer probably tried to do justice while lazily researching, Kingdom Hearts is a letter grade up a licensed game.
Many people have recommended me to play Kingdom Hearts for the combat and not for the Disney aspect because some aspects are salvagable, only to later on say "Ah well, the first hours of the game? They're terrible? Also the water level? Terrible, by the way? That minor inconvience? Oh it's terrible but you should tottaly play it" Thanks! Well, Kingdom Hearts truly deserves to be put in a time capsule to really encapsulate the absurdity of 2 companies trying to make the most of it and make a HUGE collab for money. If anything Kingdom Hearts is a prime example of why this medium isn't considered art, it is the most kitsch as it comes. 0 artistic integrity.
Truth is, the Disney aspects don't even bother me that much... Actually maybe they do? I'm not entirely sure if me with the most deadpan stare as if my soul has left my body, void of entertainment is anything to be praising over here, but... I just find them silly, I feel like I'm a 30 year old parent who just dropped in on my child playing the game and I just give it a somewhat dissapointing stare and im Like "Oh... The Little Mermaid eh?", you can imagine how much I incorporate that feel when I am the old adult playing this game in 2020. A part of me expected to be more biased towards those awkward cutscenes but I am just... Dead inside towards them. And of course the tone feels kinda cold and dry because it's obviously that weird period of JRPGs where they didn't know how humans acted so lines are delivered with no emotion at all, and scenes are just awkwardly played out in these clichés of DARKNESS vs Good which is laughlably generic and bad but doesn't really do much for me.
The music is nice though, definetely reminds me of Mario & Luigi when it's not trying to just be a midi version of a overrated Disney song. In general most MIDI renditions of old songs sound worse in this game. Orchestra production is over the roof for some odd reason though because I guess Disney wanted that, Kingdom Hearts is divided in such a way that I get to rate most of it easily though!
Bad: The entire first 6 hours and section, with the exception of the Colloseum, Ansem's second phase in that coral cave of his where he does an attack that kills you and the strategy is just to stick close to him at all times, Atlantica
Good: Colloseum (ignoring the fact that it has that same flaw FF7 has in which if you want to do bonus after-game content you gotta GRIND to level 100 so it's easier!), Neverland, Halloween Town, a bit of Hollow Bastion.
Ok: The rest, 100 Acre Wood (Why did Kingdom Hearts put so much attention towards Pooh? Is Pooh God?), oh and everything good before? Due to the repettion, it just becomes "OK".
Going back to the discussion of the plot: It is until the VERY VERY End that any plot happens at all, and when it does, boy does it make a parody of a parody of a parody... of a parody of Dragon Ball Z dialog look well written. You have all of these epic set pieces and shit but it all feels just so silly that it doesn't hit you at all. Kingdom Hearts was made for people who never experienced any of the media mentioned or referenced in the game, maybe you get to experience this game as a toddler and then later on you play the games and watch the movies later cuz I guarantee you, anything does it better than this.
Honestly if you do not think the plot of Kingdom Hearts is laughable than you have all of your criticism cards revoked, you are like a child crying over spilled milk if a plot of "I am BAD, and I want... BADNESS!!!" against "NO! GOOD IS GOOD! WE NEED TO DO GOODNESS, GOOD IS THE GREATEST!!!" is emotionally stimulating.
Seriously, were you given books to read during your time at school? I think you should have some emotional development beyond whatever this is. Kingdom Hearts in terms of plot feels like what a toddler should first experience, and if they happen to experience ANYTHING before this, their tastes are already too refined to get emotionally stimulated by it. Ironically Disney's Magical Mirror Starring Mickey Mouse is a lot more emotionally stimulating (the nightmare inducing Game Cube exclusive I grew up with which is sorta like a myst clone, if you're curious enough to play a Final Fantasy and Disney clusterfuck than you are curious enough to play a Mickey Mouse Myst clone let me tell you), then... I don't know, getting to see a drawing of characters that aren't developed and I don't care for at all.
Many people have commented on that scene being touching but, has anyone stopped to even think how none of those characters feel even alive? Do people literally think that if you just put something at the start and distance it long enough it becomes touching? The power of nostalgia does not work on me that well (although I guess Nostalgia is the sole reason Disney even gets money), especially considering I'll be playing this entire series in a row so by the point they mention that drawing again it'll only be like last week since I saw it and won't have any affect intended.
It is a very lazy writing job to just put something from the very beggining and then put it way in the end and be like "HEY? REMEMBER? are you feeling emotions now?" well, in case the developers forgot: In the middle of all of that shit nothing happens even remotely related to these 2 characters, their bond doesn't really grow, they aren't developed as characters, in fact most of that middle ground was just the player getting to experience Disney worlds with no logic or cohession, here's a tip: What if they took a cue from Mega Man or Zelda (or some other game that did this) and made it so that every single Disney world, you learned a little more about the lore or world building, or you got something that in the end mattered, that way you would make it so that every single Disney world included added something to the plot...No? Ok well. Most of the things in the end feel completely detached from everything and feel like a last second idea even, the only thing intact throughout this game is Riku and Sora, and it's... Ok, it's not much but it's there, it's even more shallow than when Disney forces characters to hate each other so that they can learn how to forgive them later, they're rivals for rivals sake really. What were they fighting for again? Oh.
KAIRI...Kairi was supposed to be the end goal of this game and she barely has any sub-plot going on throughout, supposedly she's a princess, raised as royalty to learn about the meaningless more tangible and empty than space subplot of darkness and hearts, and that's all we need to know and Kairi doesn't even have a personality. Does she have enough screentime to develop one? No, but does she get enough screentime to CARE FOR AT ALL? I think it is some kind of bold statement that the least written character of all time is a woman. A "Disney" princess, never the less. Also ironic: If you happened to watch all of the Disney movies included in the game, you kinda have a high enough standard to not have big feelings for all of this.
The reward for finishing the game is the funny almost comedic timing of the song "SIMPLE and CLEAN" starting in an pre-rendered cutscene with JPG artifacts they forgot to clean up in this Final Mix, seriously I can go there with a paintbrush and fix those frames there if anyone wants me to do that. Square Enix hire me as a consulting critic.
I have to say also Kingdom Hearts is a perfect example of why following 0 rules or logic to your in-built universe makes the entire experience feel weightless and... FORGIVE ME... HEARTLESS. Why is Pluto a trans-dimensional being? We don't know. Nothing really matters, you know like, light can do whatever the fuck it wants, darkness can do whatever it wants. You expect me to care about any of this when anyone by this point knows very well that anything goes and there's no impact? Again, and I wanna end this review with my shitty pun: It just feels heartless.