Kingdom Hearts III (2019)

Man. This friggin game. First you have this, where Woody from Toy Story claps back at a long-winded anime monologue from one of the villains:

And then you have Sulley from Monsters Inc grabbing another one of the villains, who has canonically been a real threat to heroes of the series, and throwing him through a door portal like a slab of meat.

Hindsight is a powerful ally, but I really get the impression the writers knew exactly how stupid this series had become and decided to poke fun at it.

So what is the writers' weird obsession with "ice cream"? It keeps coming up, even though IT'S OBVIOUSLY A FUCKING POPSICLE. Like do they think it's some kind of brilliant theming device?

So much of this game, and this series, is completely baffling, man. Mickey Mouse is trying to explain to me why there are 4 Xehanorts and why they're collecting vessels.

But this is what I signed up for...

So I'm FINALLY embarking on a mission I've been meaning to complete for a few years now... Finish the utterly incomprehensible Kingdom Hearts 3, and finally start the (supposedly very good) DLC.

When I first played it, at launch, 5 years ago now... I felt very mid on it. The series was a joke, nobody expected KH3 to be good, and I distinctly remember feeling like, "Man, this feels like a PS2 game." But I was also at one of the lowest points of my life during this time, working 12 hour night shifts. Before I moved to London and got my life on track.

Having now completed the first few hours and getting to the title drop? I'm... Actually really liking it. Revisiting it with a clear mind, without the anticipation and expectations... It's just good. For some reason I had a memory of the voice acting being REALLY bad, and it's simply not. Some line reads are a bit stilted, but the actors do a pretty good job overall.

Now OBVIOUSLY, all the stupid shit about hearts and darkness and hearts living in other hearts and all this crap, it's still stupid and incomprehensible. But knowing that the series wraps up a lot of that stuff by the end of this game? You know what, show me what you got, game. I'm ready for it now.

A Series of My Favorite Video Game Songs with Lyrics

8. Don't Think Twice

Hikaru Utada knows how to crush a pop ballad. Don't Think Twice adds a sultry element that doesn't exist in Utada's other Kingdom Hearts' themes/really any gaming music I can think of. I not only find it resonant, but I think it elevates the gamespanning love story between Kairi and Sora. I prefer this song over Kingdom Hearts 3's other Hikaru Utada track "Face Your Fears", but that is also a certified banger. Do any of their other tracks pierce this list?

Yikes!

Kingdom Hearts is a nightmare on Switch: The cloud versions of the beloved series are nearly unplayable

These unreasonably priced packages are barely functional, and it’s hard to recommend them to anyone, even in the most ideal conditions.

I didn't know that DigitalFoundry did a video about just how painful streaming on Switch is (Polygon links to it in the article). Watch it below if you're curious. Ironically the only game I've tested over Switch streaming, Control, is the only one they felt was almost passible.

Only played through the prologue, but I am loving everything about this so far. There's so much nostalgia in this game, maybe since KH2 came out 13 years ago already, but I almost feel like I'm diving back into the PS2 games of my childhood. This silly story and its weird and wonderful cast of characters made up a big part of my younger life. I feel almost childlike (in a very positive way) by just returning to the series (or is it returning to me?).

Then again, there is so much that is fresh and new and exciting in terms of the story, the game play, and the graphics, that my adult self is having genuine fun too. I'm so impressed and in love so far and I can't believe this game is here. I'm just basking in it while I can.