SPOILER
So I finished this game exactly at 12 am and I intended to finish it yesterday (so like 11 minutes ago). So close.
Anyway, the only reason I'm writing this in English is so I can use the term lazy writing as I please.
Because Fahrenheit truly is Lazy Writing: The Videogame. Guess that makes it two Fahrenheits I don't like. Though this was far more fun that 451 so it has that going for it at least.
Anyway so basically the game starts pretty strong, and from one point in the middle it just goes completely nuts. In a bad way.
The protagonist conveniently has superhuman powers exactly when the police are gonna catch him. Alright.
But why did he have to see exactly the person he needed to see on TV exactly at that moment? What are the fucking odds? Were you really not able to come up with anything better than a Mayan expert showing up on TV exactly after mayans being mentioned? Really, David Cage?
The concept of the story is mighty interesting, don't get me wrong, it's just badly executed. If you took the first half of the game for a remake, this could make an incredible movie. Because the concept is just so good.
But it's not as good as to outweigh the poorly written way it's executed in. What a shame.
Anyway, don't get me started on the gameplay. Really. I had to change the difficulty from hard to normal and then to easy, and the only thing I regret is not doing it sooner.
It's a pain in the ass. I don't know if it was like this on consoles and PC but on the Android version, which is what I played, it was extremely hard. You're asking for a kind of precision impossible to have on a fucking touch screen.
I mean the colored arrows, of course. The worst thing is that they get even stupider as the game goes on because at the start they do make some kind of sense, since if, for example, you're running from a monster and you have to turn left, then you swipe left.
But at the end of the game you got these cutscenes (because they are cutscenes) in which these fucking things make absolutely no goddamn sense because it doesn't matter. The moves the guy makes have nothing to do with what you're doing on the QTEs. At this point just let me watch the damn thing.
Like, there were some action scenes. And I guess they were cool. I say I guess because HOW COULD I KNOW IF I HAD TO DO THE MOTHERFUCKING QUICK TIME EVENTS WHILE THEY WERE HAPPENING. Fuck these QTEs, for real. Never seen them done worse in a videogame.
And well the whole thing about moving your characters around close environments with the shitty camera... That's something David Cage just will never learn. It's been a while since I've played Detroit, and I know it fixes a lot of the problems this one and Heavy Rain have, but I don't know if this is one of them.
It should, anyway, because like I read on Grouvee, Quantic Dream is the proof that if you keep making the same game over and over one of these days you'll end up making a good one.
Sadly this still had a long way before that. Heavy Rain too had some of these problems (its plotholes were outrageous), but it was far nicer to play.
Oh, did I mention the stupid way Lucas and Carla get together at the end? "I love you"? What? You just met the fucking guy. And then they have sex. Really gratioutious.
Oh and I love Tyler. Love the way he's so useless for the game that the way it has to get rid of him is to have his girlfriend (that appears two times before this) ask him to leave with her for Florida. Seriously, his existence was dispensable.
This is one of the few games that are a lot better if you just watch it on Youtube.
And that's how this review ends. I'll never know why I played this because as far as the world is concerned, this is just a shit game.