Chocobo GP (2021)

I was super excited for this release, and ended up more than disappointed. I feel that I've played enough of it to rate it at this point. (I've completed story mode and most of the extra story mode, which is just going through the same story again with new rewards available--namely, everyone's second cart. I've also tried the 64-player online tourney a few times, and solo modes.)

I know most are focused on the microtransaction stuff as a huge strike against this game, but the actual gameplay is underwhelming.

Pros:

• Roster: There are quite a lot of characters even without the season pass (which only encompasses two characters so far).
• Magicite: The attacks/spells/whatever you want to call them are all pretty cool; I've never had the barrier actually work, though, so it's useless and annoying when you get it a lot.
• Character specials: Every character has their own special move that they can use once you've collected enough crystals (which function like MK coins in that they boost your speed, but they also earn you tickets after races). Many of these are really useful; they range from attack-based to speed-boosting.
• Music: The music is solid. A lot of great rearranged FF tracks. The exception is the menu song, which is super annoying.

Cons:

• Characters just have specific carts and pre-set stats. They have one cart upon unlocking the character, get their second from the Extra story mode, and the third from the shop. There's no real customization other than aesthetics, so some characters are just straight garbage and there's no changing it.
• Recovery: When you get hit, there are various effects, like spinning out or just getting wrecked. The problem arises in the fact that it takes like 5-8 seconds for your racer to get the hell back up once they've been hit (though spinning out isn't as bad). Doesn't matter how far ahead you might be, you're in 8th now, and good luck ever getting back up to the front. (I say this as someone who destroys my friends at racing games, not just MK. This recovery is absolute bullshit.)
• Story mode: Juvenile and boring. The same joke 27 times. I get that it's not supposed to be some deep, adult story, but jesus. A lot of "do this track, and then do it again with one more racer added, and make sure you get first." It's the only way to unlock 90% of the unlockable content, though, so.
• The shop: I don't care so much about the microtransactions. But there are three different ways to buy things, from the tickets you earn after races, to gil which I can't even remember how you earn, and mythril, which is bought with real money. Some cart paint jobs are under the tickets and some are under the gil. All of the summon characters and one or two others are unlocked in story mode but still have to be purchased with tickets. Mythril gets you the season passes and some music, but there's not much locked behind it, honestly. I'm fine with earning in-game currency to buy parts; that's no different from fighting battles to buy new gear. But there's no real rhyme or reason to what is in the ticket shop and what's in the gil shop. In any case, there's also not a lot of incentive to buy much of it since so many of the characters have such shit stats that I'll never use them.
• And, probably WORST OF ALL IN A GAME RELEASED IN 20-FUCKING-22, the multiplayer. You can only do a TWO-PLAYER SPLIT SCREEN, unless you open a local lobby and EVERY ELSE ALSO HAS TO HAVE THE GAME AND JOIN YOUR LOBBY to have a full group of people (up to 8). I went to play with friends the Saturday after this came out, and we thought we were having controller issues when three of us went to play before everyone else got there. Nope, only two. So essentially, to have even just a group of four playing, everyone has to have the game. But if they only have the free version, they're stuck with the limited roster of three shitty characters, and not access to everything you've spent days unlocking thinking you were gonna get to play with friends.

This game was just one disappointment after another. It's not even fun to play because of the bullshit recovery (especially if you just keep getting spammed), the fact that I can't play with my friends anyway because why would any of them drop $50 on this garbage that I wasted my money on already.

If you're going to try to copy Mario Kart, at least copy Mario Kart. I'm glad the DLC tracks for that came out the next week because this is garbage.

Rating: 7/10

I'm going to go a little easy on this for a variety of reasons. The magicite system and the racing is quite a bit of fun. Solid driving mechanics, even though it doesn't feel quite as balanced as something like Mario Kart. I also think that the story mode is cute and even sometimes funny. The main theme is both catchy and annoying. I like the Final Fantasyness of it all. But fuck the microtransactions and the greed, the live service bullshit.

I was really torn on this one. On one hand, the core gameplay is pretty solid, fun, and what I was hoping for. The magicite item system is unique enough and pretty fun. There's some fun enough course track designs and variety as well to make for a fun kart racer type experience.

One the other hand, the game has a number of areas that feeling lacking or bothersome, and when coupled with modern Square Enix's aggressive approaches to monetizing their games, makes for a frustrating and somewhat underwhelming final package. A list of issues varying from minor nuisances to major problems in my opinion at least:

-The obnoxious main game theme wouldn't be that big of a deal, but you'll end up hearing it constantly without an option to change it, and of course there's an option to change the music for racing but not the main menu music. There's also a sound test, but naturally it stops playing once you leave back to anything else. Honestly, even just having the ability to switch to the Japanese version of the song without changing my system language settings would be nice.

-There's 2-3 track variations per course setting, with about 9 course settings. Meaning instead of there being 9 race course options, there's really like 27 which isn't bad. Still, more variety of backgrounds, music, and obstacles would be nice. There's definitely potential with DLC for more Final Fantasy themed places, like on an Airship or across a fleet of Airships for example.

-There's a large roster of racers with varying stats and special abilities, but I'm really only a fan of a couple, with the designs of a lot of them feeling too cartoony or just random. Still there's certainly potential for DLC for some cool and interesting additions. I'd like to see Hyperion, the black chocobo, or Umaro from FF6, or a malboro or tonberry. Honestly plenty of potential still for some interesting racers outside the usual fan service picks like Cloud and Squall.

-The story mode is at times cute or funny, but mostly just a short little mode to unlock racers and tracks. Besides a few meta references and goofiness it doesn't add a significant enough depth to the game unfortunately.

-The biggest issue that people are likely upset about is how the game looks and is setup like a money making mobile game from the cluttered main menu and the multiple in game currencies that need either grinding or additional money to purchase and unlock more content. It's definitely possible to unlock most if not all content without the need for additional payments but it is certainly setup to be grindy which understandably looks bad. You shouldn't have to put in crazy hours to unlock the final racers or be expected to pay for Day 1 DLC as it should just be included in the game.

Overall, I think Square Enix wanted to aim this game at children with the obnoxious main theme, menu appearance, and the designs and artstyle for the characters. But then it also tries to throw a bone to older FF fans and adults with some more meta jokes. I think they could have taken some more lessons from Nintendo on how to make general audience games that aren't trying so hard to attract children that it suffers in areas that older gamers take issue with.

I'm in a bit of a weird spot with this game, as I am planning to keep playing online and am having fun with it, but it's not hard to see the flaws and missed potential. I don't blame people for being upset about the way Square Enix setup unlockables and additional content for the game, but at the same time I do hope the game maintains a decent player base size and does continue to get new content as it really has potential still to be a fun, goofy, Final Fantasy themed kart racer.