Review PyramidHeadcrab 2/5 · Dec 8, 2024
A Series Desperately In Need Of A Refresh
15th Game Completed in 2024
Tekken 3 was one of the best-selling games on the PS1. It, and Tekken Tag following it, were the height of late-90s "cool", with blasting techno, leather jackets, and bowling.
(I will preface by saying that I am evaluating this game strictly as a single-player experience, and that I do not play the online …
15th Game Completed in 2024
Tekken 3 was one of the best-selling games on the PS1. It, and Tekken Tag following it, were the height of late-90s "cool", with blasting techno, leather jackets, and bowling.
(I will preface by saying that I am evaluating this game strictly as a single-player experience, and that I do not play the online meta.)
Fast forward to 2024 and Tekken is just kind of... Old, and tired, and lame. I've played Tekkens 6, 7 and now 8, and I'm just kinda bored with the direction this series has been headed in. They've been dragging out this Heihachi-Kazuya-Jin-Lars family drama for way, WAY too long, and it has literally never been interesting. Tekken 8's campaign does have some genuinely great moments, where the hype is cranked right up and you're excited to see some of the series's cool characters doing cool things... Until the mid-way point, where it feels like every single fight is between Jin and Kazuya. Over. And over. Again. Just like in 7 - Kazuya and Heihachi fighting over and over again. While the far more interesting characters just... Have nothing to do.
Tekken frequently sniffs at these ideas of ancient, supernatural dieties and secrets buried in the past, and while that stuff is there, the series does nothing with them. It's all centered around this family feud, and even world-threatening ancient evils are just set dressing in service of this one boring-ass family and their bombastic shounen fights.
This is a character roster that has a fucking velociraptor, and it somehow manages to focus on the boring human characters and this nonsensical corporate military hogwash that isn't interesting and doesn't matter. Do you know where Tekken shines? Where a giant bear that really, REALLY wants to beat this washed-up fighter as revenge for his father, and he accidentally blocks a rocket launcher salvo aimed at said fighter. And, being unable to communicate with humans, reluctantly accepts thanks from the man he wants to kill. That fucking rules. That's fun writing. You have this massive, storied roster of weird characters with decades of rivalries and back stories... And most of them just kind show up, throw some punches, and disappear. My main guy, Hwaorang, has literally nothing to do in this series. He has no stakes, he has no reason to be there, and he just kinda... Shows up, fights, then rides away into the sunset.
Speaking of Hwaorang, what the actual fuck is going on with his design? He started as a slender, but athletic, fighter that played fast and had good combo potential. He still has those things, but now he's built like Arnold Schwartzenegger. In fact, nearly all the male characters are. The lack of diversity of male body types in this game is weird, it almost feels like fetish material at this point, they're all built like the guy from Fist Of The North Star and it's weird. It makes sense for a guy like Heihachi that's slow and strong, his physique projects exactly what kind of fighter he is, but it makes no sense for the more agile characters. I'm not gonna sit here and say the female bodies in this game are particularly diverse either, they definitely all skew althetic and slender, but they vary widely in style, mode of dress, and personality.
The fighting in this one, compared to earlier entries, feels a lot more chunky and deliberate too, and I can't say I like the game feel as much as I like Tekken 3 and Tag. There's too much particle effect "noise" going on, and too many obnoxious camera cuts and slowdown that make clicking into combos really frustrating.
But to my original point... Tekken just isn't cool anymore. It's way too self-aware of how stupid it is to be truly exciting, and the Mishima Family stuff has to end ASAP. Mortal Kombat, as a point of comparison, looooooves to redo the story of the original trilogy. It's in its third iteration now. But the writing is those games, while not high art, sets up really interesting scenarios and gives the characters a lot to do. They often manage to write even guest characters into the narrative in interesting ways that make sense in-universe (although Mortal Kombat's insane multiverse, multiple timeline shenanigans makes pretty much anything possible, which is why it's so fun). That's the bar that's set for single player fighting game story modes, and it's a high one. Tekken's presentation values are there, but the writing and the story simply are not.
I'm confident Tekken 8 is an amazing multiplayer experience, probably best in class. But as a single player experience, it's just not where it needs to be, and I'm really hoping it can take a step up in its next entry.
Oh, and bring back Tekken Bowl. And Alex. Cowards.
