I was sick all last week, so was playing anything simple to numb my aching brain. I played The Gunk and Raji: An Ancient Epic, both of which I enjoyed. I also played Sonic Adventure. On the day when I was at my sickest, curled up on my couch while moaning in agony, I played this in a single sitting to 100% completion.

So, what’s a Paw Patrol? I don’t really know. My nephew loves them, that’s for sure. I skipped all of the cutscenes. There was a little boy that kept saying “Pawsome!” so I went into the menu and turned off his voice. Not on my watch, little boy!

It’s not a terrible game. It’s the simplest 3D platformer ever. Run down an occasionally branching path collecting bone-shaped snacks. Change between the two dogs to interact with obstacles (I assume it’s co-op??). There are no enemies except a final boss, and the dogs control well enough. I mean, they’re super floaty, but it’s not broken or anything.

The games biggest issue is its reliance on QTEs. These occur often, ranging from button mashing to joystick wobbling. They’re boring - fine for an adult, but could be frustrating for a child less familiar with a controller. There aren’t any accessibility options to alter these either.

There are also a handful of unlockable mini games. Some of these you’ll encounter during the main campaign, such as collecting bones as a small flying dog or snowplough. You’ll need to complete all of them if you want to 100% this bad boy. Some are complete garbage - the world’s slowest rhythm game, or jumping rope. A couple approach actual fun - underwater 2D swimming, an obstacle course.

Overall, it’s competent. If you know a small child that likes dogs that operate machinery, they’ll probably have a good time. Not a terrible introduction to 3D platformers for those not quite ready for Mario.

It ain’t pawsome, but not quite pawful either.