Hydrophobia: Prophecy (2011)

Got this game for a buck from a steam sale years ago. Clearing the backlog and figure I should at least give it a shot, using the usual $1 = 1 hour metric. This review is based on that price - if I had paid more I may not have been quite so objective here.

PROs:

• Is a competent third/first person shooter for its time. Has a few decently satisfying weapon types.

• The core interactions of water levels as a twist on the uncharted/tomb raider style of platformer are at least moderately well executed.

CONs:

• The rest of those platforming aspects are not well executed. I often find myself unable to make simple jumps because of some sort of obstructing geometry, and the backwards jump the game expects in certain platforming sections simply does not work. Any transition between one type of platforming - water to climbing, or climbing to jumping - usually results in death. The checkpoints got less forgiving over time.

• The characters are extremely annoying. The lead does nothing but whine constantly, the navigator in your ear is a condescending piece of shit, and everyone else is exceptionally cringey - the bad guys are bioterrorists in juggalo paint who go around graffitiing "kill yourself, save the planet" on the walls, for example.

• The game is just generally glitchy - characters, the player included, stutterstep everywhere as they collide with physics objects and enter and exit a swimstate constantly. I several times ran faster than load triggers were designed for, causing me to be present in the place that objects loaded in or environmental events happened - how foolish of me.

• So, so many needless cutscenes.

I did not finish this game and I probably never will.