I can't overstate how invested I feel when playing the Emily is Away series. I spent years talking to my then-high-school-sweetheart-now-wife on AIM and the first two games pull me back in time, sitting too close to my 19" ViewSonic CRT, waiting for her next message to appear with that doo-doo-doo sound effect. Loading up Emily is Away <3 for the first time didn't hit for me like the first two games. It's set in 2008 using Facebook's UI to tell the story. By 2008, I'd been married and could talk with my wife in our house—no instant messaging required. This game had more work to do.

I started playing nearly a year ago. I enjoyed it, but gave up about half way through. I noticed how much bigger the game was: the choices seemed more significant, there were more moving gameplay pieces in a less familiar UI, and the ending loomed large. I put it aside for 360 days before deciding to see it through.

Today, the ending devastated me. I reminded myself that these are just words in a series of decision trees written by a guy years ago, but it didn't really help. I spent quite a while telling myself the ending I got was just how it was intended; I didn't need to look up alternative endings or re-play to find them all. Skip to 5 minutes later and I was modifying Player.json and using Cheat Engine to speed up part of a run so I could get the closure I wanted. It turns out that the good endings are gated by getting a bad or neutral ending first and then doing a New Game+. Judging by other reviews, this was an unpopular choice, but I think I understand why it was done. The game is more complex than its predecessors and requiring a replay not only encouraged more exploration, but also guaranteed even careful players got to experience a traumatic high school break up over Facebook Messenger. I didn't experience that in 2008—I didn't really want to—but now I have.

I feel better having seen a good ending, but still sad. I don't think I'll ever play this entry again, but it was devastating in a way I want to recognize.