I hate hyperbole, when people say something is the best or worst ever. Whenever someone gives something an obscenely low score for something, I always think, "really? There's nothing redeemable about this?" And look, I'm not the kind of person to say any piece of entertainment is the best or worst of all time, but I'd be hard-pressed to find a game that is worse than Plumbers Don't Wear Ties.

I mean, I've played broken NewGrounds Flash games that are better than this. I truly think scanning through the PlayStation Store is more enjoyable than playing this game. The only times I actually enjoyed myself while playing this remaster was from the added elements Limited Run Games brought to the table, most of which are poking fun of how terrible this "game" is.

Frankly, this is just a collection of pictures that occasionally asks for a choice. It's like flipping through a photo album, and then making like six choices. There's never any good indication as to whether you've made a correct choice or not, and the dialogue is so sexist, homophobic, and deeply unfunny that it makes you assume that the worst choice a person could make in 2024 is probably the correct answer. And yet, I even found myself disappointed by how short this game is and how little actually happens.

From the opening sequence which feels like it'll never end, to even reusing the same photos, and creating a slideshow that at times feels like they forgot they were supposed to be making a game and not just gathering photos for a vacation, this is an absolute mess. It's like they were trying to make the absolute worst game possible, and they wholeheartedly succeeded. I couldn't make a video game for the life of me, and yet, I still think I would accidentally make something better than this.

I'm glad this remastered edition exists, because I do think even the worst games ever made should be preserved, and after decades of being curious about this game, I'm glad I finally played it. But my god, you think you've played some terrible games in your life, and then you play Plumbers Don't Wear Ties and your whole perspective changes.