The Bilestoad box art

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The Bilestoad

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The Bilestoad

Mar 2, 1982

Main game

2.75 average rating based on 4 ratings

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In The Bilestoad, players control "meatlings" that hack and battle with axes and shields from a top-view perspective. Although the game may seem medieval, the backstory in the manual explains that the axe fighting is actually a future virtual reality game designed to reduce real violence.
Developers
Publishers
Datamost
Platforms
Apple II
Genres
Arcade, Fighting
Themes
Science fiction
Release Dates
Mar 02, 1982 Full Release (Worldwide)
Apple II
Dec 31, 1982 Full Release (North_America)
Apple II
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User Stats
12
In Collection
2
Wish Listed
0
Playing
5
Backlogged
How Long Is The Bilestoad?
No playthrough data yet
scoopings
scoopings gave Feb 21, 2022
scoopings gave Feb 21, 2022
Incredible Look, Sound, and Feel -- But Barely Playable, Sadly
This review is for the Apple II version

Look: 9/10 The graphics are what truly make this game. The graphics are what prompted me to review it, even tho I could barely engage with the gameplay. This video does a better job than my attempts to screenshot off archive.org . I've noticed that tends to be an issue. The game, as unbelievably innovative as it is, didn't quite warrant a download etc.

Sound: 8/10 My version didn't have the same sounds as above, but based on the sounds above, this could honestly be like a 9/10 . Gave me Atari 2600 Superman vibes. How mine sounded, still, was good crunch.

Play: 6/10 Effectively unplayable, but the concept is super cool, and this--if on a faster/smoother CPU but not much else changed--would be epitomal fighting game to me. I like how it's a whole area, not a set screen, and you get that explore factor. Anyway, while it was unplayable the ideas--and even technically the execution--are phenomenal and worth remembering, even if these lofty ideas and concepts overwhelm the Apple II CPU ha.

Feel: 7/10 Wow... difficult to rate. The graphics, concept, and sound are all so amazing--but I barely had control of the character. Nevertheless, the overall feel …

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Look: 9/10 The graphics are what truly make this game. The graphics are what prompted me to review it, even tho I could barely engage with the gameplay. This video does a better job than my attempts to screenshot off archive.org . I've noticed that tends to be an issue. The game, as unbelievably innovative as it is, didn't quite warrant a download etc.

Sound: 8/10 My version didn't have the same sounds as above, but based on the sounds above, this could honestly be like a 9/10 . Gave me Atari 2600 Superman vibes. How mine sounded, still, was good crunch.

Play: 6/10 Effectively unplayable, but the concept is super cool, and this--if on a faster/smoother CPU but not much else changed--would be epitomal fighting game to me. I like how it's a whole area, not a set screen, and you get that explore factor. Anyway, while it was unplayable the ideas--and even technically the execution--are phenomenal and worth remembering, even if these lofty ideas and concepts overwhelm the Apple II CPU ha.

Feel: 7/10 Wow... difficult to rate. The graphics, concept, and sound are all so amazing--but I barely had control of the character. Nevertheless, the overall feel is special and interesting enough to warrant a 7.

Attachment: 8/10 Will I actually replay this game? Unlikely. Will I tell my brothers about it and have them try it out since they love fighting games? Almost definitely. I also will never forget it. So, it gets a sorta-false 8.

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