Teleroboxer (1995)

Teleroboxer might be one of the coolest looking and most fascinating Virtual Boy games on the system - that said, it's pretty clunky and a downgrade compared to its Punch-Out!! peers.

In the 22nd century, robots that can imitate human movements are used for exciting boxing competitions. Entering the "teleroboxing" world championship you (and your special robot Harry) fight your way through seven set matches, a champion match, and then an endless mode to defend your title. Matches are fought in five minute-long rounds, where the player must block and punch to the best of their abilities in order to bring down a variety of opponents. Given that the Virtual Boy has two D-pads, this results in a unique control scheme for boxing: L/R as punch buttons and a variety of context specific left/right blocks and attacks that result from each direction. Holding down directional buttons can also be used to charge special fast-paced attacks that are sometimes critical to winning a match.

This sounds great and all, but when fighting foes it can feel a little clunky and lacking. Harry is particularly slower than most of his enemies, and the specials are often not useful unless in very specific moments since enemies are pretty good at blocking and dodging everything. The tried and true method of blocking and punching at an opening is usually the way to go, but Harry's jabs are pitiful in terms of how much they chip off health bars, versus enemies who have unique special attacks and can just generally hit harder and faster. Enemies have drill heads, cat claws, kangaroo baby bot body blows, and all sorts of things that look cool on paper but can get frustrating pretty quickly.

The enemy designs absolutely stick out (and I'm not just talking about the 3D!) - segmented sprites and a wacky sense of humor help all these foes stand out and give them just enough personality to make them interesting. Ninjas, kangaroos, cats, and a unique time bomb match are cool enough to experience at least once, and the music feels like an exciting notch above SNES peers, whether it's fast paced battle tunes or intimidating sci-fi ambience leading up to rounds.

Good looks and good tunes can only carry a game so far though, as Teleroboxer is a game that entices players with an intricate system and exciting matches, but quickly leads to frustration and encourages cheesing tactics instead of meaningfully interacting with careful and deliberate punching. Play for the chance to fight cool foes but skip the endless mode.