Sprung (2004)

Sprung is a unique game in the sense that it forced me to express a myriad of emotions while still being a black hole of an experience. Something about it's cheeky writing and questionable game design feel all too knowing, too wink wink directly into the camera for me to really immerse myself, as if somebody at a party is saying a sexist joke simply because they know it would be ridiculous to say such a thing. If this game was a person, I would politely avoid eye contact. But I have stared into the abyss. It's too late for me.

The reality is that Sprung is quite funny. It plays out like a bootleg sitcom where everyone is juuust horny enough to make you wonder if you should be watching with the kids in the room. Everyone is whacky, loud, and discernibly annoying from each other. The scenarios you get into are just as so. The art is expressive. The animations are probably the most impressive thing about the game-- The style would look just perfect in a Don Bluth work. As for the gameplay, it's infuriating at times-- The logic and order in which you must do things are mindboggling in just a enough instances to make me wonder if I should end the relationship entirely. If you're used to old fashioned point-and-click adventure games, you know what I'm talking about. Be sure to have a pencil and paper at hand, as well as a hammer to knock out any sense you may still have.

Sprung is not the worst of the worst, but it's still a puke stain on my dress shirt in this metaphor for game experiences. It's funny and wild (obnoxiously so) in a way that isn't entirely unenjoyable. The real offense is how unrewarding it all is. You better love it's shallow comedy, because that's all you'll be getting after replaying the same date 10 times over due to whacky adventure game logic.

Final point: Sprung is like playing hopscotch with a unicorn. It is very interesting that you are playing hopscotch with something as unique as a unicorn, but the actual experience is punishing in the way only it can be.