Japan did it again. There are very few words to describe Panty Party that could not more pithily be summarized as ‘What the fuck?’. Regardless, I shall endeavor to share my thoughts on this one-of-a-kind piece of software.

Yes, it is you. The one who loves panties... the warrior of love!

As far as story goes, I find it most fitting to allow the game to do its own talking, so here it is quoted from early game almost verbatim “The truth is... The unloved panties, led by Panzi, want to brainwash all humans. After the humans are brainwashed, they’ll be forced to think all the panties are their true love!” Quite. You, as Yurika the warrior of love, have the power to transform into a panty and must do so to stop the aforementioned heinous brainwashing in order to preserve the freedom for humans to choose which panties they love. Truly, deep stuff.

Let’s see what happens when a panty is full of love

Story mode takes you through 20 stages, plenty meaty enough when looked at alongside other stage-based fighter/shooters. Completing additional objectives within the stages unlocks the enemy boss panty for use in story and arcade mode. These are usually time or score based, or for completing the level using a specific panty. Incidentally, the story is told through a series of still images and scrolling text: indicative of the budget. Despite the cover art, this is a joke game not a sexually risqué one: if you wish to ogle then look elsewhere. Be aware though that there is one pretty dreadful instance of questionable writing, wherein one panty proclaims “high school girls are past their expiration date”. My friend and I did have to double-take on that one and check if that’s what he’d really said. Yikes.

A panty’s fate is decided by its style

Panty Party is clearly a novelty game, but it succeeds by leaning into its silliness. The story is unapologetically bizarre, the theme song “Panty party, party panty. Lonely panty so let me party.” Is incredible, while the mechanics are equally unashamedly weird and unexplained. This is essentially an arena shooter... where you are a floating pair of underwear, shooting and punching other pieces of underwear... and washing machines. Each panty on the roster has three weapons: melee or ranged. Inflicting damage on opponents fills a ‘Passion’ meter. Once activated ‘Passion’ betroths any number of buffs depending on your panty, speed, attack, defense, reload or special weapons. These mechanics are certainly not deep, though they are satisfying enough if a bit repetitive.

Let’s paint the world in the colors of panties!

Unfortunately, the game does show its (lack of) budget in a few areas. First, the translation is odd or I believe it is the translation. It seems to be little more than a first draft. There aren’t many obvious spelling or grammatical errors, but it clearly wasn’t proofread by a native English speaker to check for consistency of meaning. Another odd little issue is the first line of every dialogue is cut off, usually mid-word as if somebody clicked enter mid-line on the word processor. Did nobody notice that? When this was just a novelty digital release, it’s forgiven. When this has been patched and released physically? Less understandable.

I too felt the warmth of love when I became a panty.

Multiplayer is straightforward: select panties, select an arena and have at it. Arcade mode is also pretty self-explanatory: the the battles here being generally more difficult than in story mode. If you’ve finished the story and want more panty action, here you go.

Please pass on the teachings of panty Taoism

Are you willing to purchase games for novelty value alone? Do you and your friends share a puerile sense of humour? If so, then I’d happily recommend running through the 2 or so hour campaign with a friend or two. Come in with an open mind and a silly disposition and there’s fun to be had, but when the novelty inevitably wears off there's little else to stick around for.