The Goonies II (1987)

What you get in this game is very simple. it is a platformer that tries to have its own flair and creative idea on how to make the game unique to its competitors on the market during the time. it has a take on the on being platformer, and sort of a metroidvania-esq style of gameplay with a pinch of RPG into it that create a big adventure inside of a simple platfomer that feels very ambitious, but fails short of expectations due to many flaws in the game. the frame-rate is all over the place for some reason, and you can feel some kind of laggy-ness in the game while playing. the movement is clunky. there is a clear lack of polish in the gameplay design that can make game go from interesting to frustrating very shortly.

And while you somewhat get used to it, I freaking hate the sprite art in this game. it feels very different from the entire game, that you might as well call it a fan made.

I can definitely see the game wanting to feel like a very big deal, but ultimately, needed more time in the oven and the more polish overall.

The Goonies II, based off of the The Goonies 1 movie, because as of 2023, there is no Goonies II movie. So why in the world is this game called Goonies II then? Because Goonies I did come out, but only for the Famicom and the NES arcade machines (PlayChoice 10, VS. System). It strangely never came to America, despite The Goonies being an American made movie.

This game is early installment weirdness in more ways than one. It's early installment weirdness in that it's one of Konami's first titles for the NES, and it shows. Cheap deaths, impossible to not get hit by enemies at parts, cryptic clues (how in the WORLD would a six year old in 1987 know what to do in this game???), it's definitely a product of its time. Early installment weirdness in that it's one of the first "Metroidvania" games ever released. You do have a map, but good luck making heads or tails out of it.

Basically, the plot of the game is that you are Mikey, or Sean Astin's character from the 80s classic. The Fratelli Gang has kidnapped your friends and scattered them around their hideout (which is enormous and includes things like an underwater lair, an ice world, and other things that will have you remembering this indeed a fictional video game). You must recuse your friends, while finding equipment, which you will need to rescue Annie the Mermaid.

The items/Goonies are in hidden rooms. These rooms include many secrets that can be discovered by using special items. Again, there are no hints to ANY of this, so back in 1987, I'm sure this was hair pulling frustration, but thankfully we now have the Internet, which helps make this game a heck of a lot more tolerable.

Now I don't want to be a complete downer about this game. The ambitions are respectable and there is a good game in there that just needed some more polish. There is just too much crypticness, cheap hits, confusion and frustration to give it a recommendation.

One thing I will compliment, though, is the music. Cyndi Lauper's "The Goonies R Good Enough" is here in pure 8-bit glory. The other songs in the game, especially the underwater one, are also fantastic. So the music is definitely 10/10.

March 2024 Playthrough: Preliminary: Annnnd I'm finally here for my chronology project. I'm playing the NA English release again, because it fits with where I am in the chronology project (the date here was Q4 1987, tho the Japanese original was released March 1987. I fixed it now) and there weren't many changes between the versions.

Look: 9/10 The menu UI bumped this up. The normal action screens are more like 7/8, but that UI screen is delicious (see below). Map, inventory, equipment--yay!

Sound: 9/10 Nice variety of jingles but of course the shining star is Goonies R Good Enough 8-bit. I wound up liking the Sound more than I expected, and kept the sound on this whole playthrough. That shows how much has changed for me in just a little over 2 years: I used to never play with Sound on, especially for retro games. Even if the chronology project hasn't worked with getting me into genres I struggle with like strategy and first-person dungeon crawlers, it has at least got me more into retro game Sound!

Play: 9/10 Like mentioned above, I love the use of text adventure commands. And I am grateful for the mid-jump movement (cough unlike Konami's castlevania), even if the controls aren't perfect overall. Lots of illogical puzzles but I'm all for following a guide and enjoying a game. The yoyo reminded me of the Castlevania whip where you fall in love with knowing precisely its length so you can kill enemies before they can harm you, and the Boomerang well I always love Boomerangs in action games. Oh and to show what I mean by the text adventure esque rooms

Feel: 10/10 Love Simon Belmont making an appearance :-p And I still absolutely love the menu UI and Zelda-esque item icons. Oh! I never took a screenshot before? Here ya go

I was immediately fully hooked back into it. Something about this type of straightforward, need-a-guide type platformer action-adventure hooks me in every time.

Attachment: 10/10 This game was so important for my 2021 entrance into the world of retro games, and it proved a game I will finish every time I pick it up. Classic sign of a 10/10 Attachment. Not to mention I love the movie :-p A lot of the issues with the gameplay came out at the end, and some of the unnecessary doors got tacky, but with a guide and savestates, this is still a blast for gamers like me!

Completion: 100% Playtime: 2h 25m

October 2021 Playthrough:

Look: 10/10 This is dubious for me to give to such an early game, and it might go lower eventually, but I truly enjoy looking at the backgrounds, watching playthroughs after having beat it, the platformer/room-puzzle different looks, the different "regions" looking different, the inventory+world map screen look, even the ridiculous renditions of the characters during "cutscenes." As briefly mentioned, the things that bring this to a definite 10 are the inventory screen "look" and the different settings you explore (eg., the log cabin and attic regions of the "world map," so to speak).

Sound: 9/10 The sound effects, like the waterfall, were excellent, and I loved the music. Not only did I play it mostly muted, but also I don't usually include sound for this era of games. Nonetheless, next time I replay it, I will give sound a chance beyond just a few different parts and hearing it via playthroughs. Maybe this could be a perfectly rated game, who would've thunk. I guess I was always a platformer guy, just never thought I could get through early Konami till I realized a map makes them fun.

Play: 10/10 I love how the little Crimson Room-esque menu-based puzzle parts jump in periodically throughout the classic platformer feel. I like how they were merciful with the resources from the currently-spawning enemies cheap shot (hit em before they even spawn) and the frequency of the Konami Man healer guy (tho I needed a guide to find most them). This was definitely harder than I expected (and substantially harder than the first Konami Goonies from a year prior). Perhaps that were more so me readjusting from MSX up-as-jump controls in the first Konami Goonies that I mentioned in its review. Oh, but lol, molotov cocktails, I can't. Right on. Also the "hit wall with fist," fun how you can aim anywhere on the first-person screen with that--interesting for its time (plus hopefully helping me with my aversion to first-person games by seeing that many early games were, in fact, first-person). I found the first person puzzle parts, at least with a guide--would probly be a headache guessing all those puzzles. Oh, shoot, and you know I gotta love a boomerang weapon, especially in platformers. I found the underwater parts better execut3ed than a lot of 90s games' underwater parts, Super Mario World (an absolute favorite) comes to mind. I'm glad they have more powerups and items this time unlike the first Konami Goonies--but still lacking bosses which would make the different regions of the open world even more exciting. I suppose the fratellis are sorta-bosses, but meh. I do like that the fratellis' always “keep the heat” on ya aspect--but again, a few true bosses would've been nice. (Oh shoot so Ma Fratelli is the big “final boss”-type enemy after all. Perfect lol.) Finally, I love that, again, there's no level timer. PS Hot tip: the speed shoes not only increase your speed but also the distance of your jumps (as opposed to increasing the height of your jumps, which is achievable via the Jump shoes). Combine these 2 equippable items as necessary at the end!

Feel: 10/10 So much feeling, I love this game. I had no nostalgia for this, but will definitely be replaying this over the years and building nostalgia for it. The inventory screen with the world map, the exploration, the items you get and return to old spots aspect--"this is amazing" as I wrote one of my first nights playing it. I love how fast-paced everything is--and I mean everything: from the menu screen to the dialogue to the pace of the game. I love the front/back aspect of the world maps, essentially 2 world maps. For some reason, multiple things in the game reminded me of Resident Evils, oddly enough. Well, and obviously very Zelda-esque with replenishing your slingshot (bow) and the way they execute the upgrades, say, with the Fire Boxes/molotov cocktails (like in Zeldas, you not only can now carry more but are replenished of it). The warp zones are brilliant, especially how you can engage with them early in the game but can't use them yet. Um, what else. Oh, lol u legit beat an old lady for a candle (and yes I said for, not with, a candle). I love the Konami homages, namely Simon Belmont--nice. I love that there's different equippable shoes, tomba-esque for sure. Plus, the jump shoes are simply a blast to use. So much of this game is fun, another Konami game I can say nothing but good things about. Finally, the bullet proof vest as a secret/ultimate item--brilliant. I loved the use of it and process to acquire it.

Attachment: 10/10 I foresee this going to 10 on future replays. I just can't immediately give that for attachment. But I know I will replay this, I know I will be thinking of it, I know I will be comparing Konami and platformer games to it. Good stuff. I'm surprised, only Klonoa surprised me this much, but this is jumping right onto the Favorite Favorites shelf. Ay. I can't help but notice they're both creative-for-their-time platformers that have reminded me of Tomba, ha. (Upgraded to a 10/10 after my second playthrough since it did affirm the 10/10 attachment. However, I also kept the 10/10 play etc that I had from before, even if it didn't earn that again in my 2nd playthrough, just to keep this initial review intact, merely updating the Attachment in its context)