Hotel Mario (1994)

Hotel Mario. You know what it is. It is turning 27 in a few days so I felt like today was a good day to review this game. Hotel Mario is a revolution in the gaming industry. It's one of those rare pieces of media that raises topics that we still see critics discussing over today after nearly 27 years. It's the first and only game to delve deep into the psyches of the Mario Bros that no game has ever done since. When Hotel Mario was released on the Philips CD-I, the game, along with Link: The Faces of Evil and Zelda: Wand of Gamelon, have been praised by critics, old and new. Killer reviews all over the board. If you don't know about this game, then you're out of touch, and I'm out of time to not stop talking about this masterpiece.

Fuck you, GamePro for giving this game a 9.

I want to talk about the console that Hotel Mario came in first. Nintendo was working with Philips to make a CD add on for the SNES. That never came through and nor did Nintendo and Sony on the same concept. Phillips made their own console and had Nintendo franchises in their games. The console screams quality with exclusives that can't be topped today and a size that is bigger than the Xbox Series X and the PS5. This console may have been $1000 at launch, but there was a reason. It was meant to be a console for the elite gamers.

To say that this game has a narrative is an understatement. Hotel Mario's gameplay on its own tells a story. What may be surface level with the objective being to close every door actually tells us something about the Mario Brothers. I've come to the conclusion that they're LGBTQ+ members. What kind is left ambiguous for the player to interpret the answer in their own ways without being blueballed. The objective represents them closing themselves out from society. They're hiding themselves from the unknown. Afraid to be shunned upon because of who they are. While the enemies want them to show their true colors by opening doors, Mario and Luigi try to shut them out. While they do get the princess at the end, this question has been raised by me and only me because I am the smartest man in the world and anyone else who thinks otherwise is stupid and wrong. Do Mario and Luigi really rescue Peach? Let's rewind to the start of the game. Mario and Luigi walk into the Mushroom Kingdom. After the player sees Bowser laughing, we cut to Mario and Luigi. Mario starts with, "Nice of the princess to invite us over to the picnic. Ey, Luigi?" 2 things. First off, for years, people have interpreted that last part of the sentence as Mario calling Luigi gay. Secondly, Mario and Luigi are in the Mushroom Kingdom, a place with drug-like substances, making the user see what can't really be seen in normal eyes. The place like that doesm't exist and it portrays Mario and Luigi's downward spiral as they walk into a place that can't be real. There is no going back. There are instances where Princess Toadstool looks like she has been rescued, but she disappears out of thin air. Is the princess even real? The ending where the princess is "rescued" is the result of the Mario Bros hitting rock bottom. They gave in to their fantasies and stopped accepting reality.

As said, the objective of the game is to close every door before the timer runs out. What may be simple is turns into something that keeps you on your toes. No game has given me that feeling since Super 3D Noah's Ark for the SNES. Enemies will be closing doors and coming through them so you're constantly pressured. Mario can hide in doors which adds more strategy to approaching the game. Sets of rooms and doors are distinct from each other. Keeping the game fresh. Wendy's hotel is a commentary on counterfeit and the consequences of it. Touching her coins results in you getting damaged. The subtext beneath that is that Wendy has made fake coins to stop and frame the Mario Bros. That's genius.

Mario may have died yesterday, but his legacy within this game will not be forgotten. Hotel Mario is a masterpiece of narrative, storytelling, art direction, and music. It's legacy is the result of people still talking about this game today compared to Cyberpunk 2077. If the series were to end, then Hotel Mario would've been the best way to send off gaming's biggest icon for Hotel Mario is the apex of video games.

FINAL RATING: 10/10