Review RossBonaime 2/5 · Mar 12, 2025
More Like Snoopy's Shitty Sports Spectacular, Am I Right?
Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular's was a game that even as a kid, I remember thinking it was kind of shitty. This was just one of those NES games that I knew wasn't great, but I'd put in for 15 minutes here and there to see if I had gotten any better at it, before moving onto like Super Mario Bros. …
Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular's was a game that even as a kid, I remember thinking it was kind of shitty. This was just one of those NES games that I knew wasn't great, but I'd put in for 15 minutes here and there to see if I had gotten any better at it, before moving onto like Super Mario Bros. 3 or Tiny Toon Adventures. This is basically a collection of six short games, each varying in fun from, "ow, my thumb hurts," to "at least that one was over fast." Let me just run down these six games:
Sack Race: Definitely the most accessible and slightly enjoyable game. This was a lot of fun as a kid with two players because you could really make the other kid eat shit by running into them. I like the rhythm of this one, and if you can't figure out this one, brother, you might as well jump off a cliff instead of trying the rest of these games.
Boot Throwing: I swear, there were so many games when I was a kid that wanted me to scratch the hell out of my thumb on a D-pad until I got blisters. This one's also sort of decent if you can get the timing down right, but a lot of this is just swinging for the fences and hoping everything works out okay.
Pogo: Probably my favorite as a kid, and the one that infuriates me the most as an adult. If you don't get the timing right on this one exactly right, you're running face first into a wall. But oh boy, if you can get a good jump going and go over all these walls in one fluid motion, mamma mia, it's the best sensation, like doing heroin while orgasming.
Overboard: I either immediately win this one, or fall off immediately. There's no in between. I know there's a strategy to this one, but I honestly just take my chances and roll the dice. That's just the life of a dog trying to push another dog off a gondola, which is apparently a sport.
Pile of Pizza: I don't hate this one, and like a lot of these, it's just all about getting the timing right and patience. But considering how quickly these other games wrap up, spending a full minute slowly walking across a street with a pile of pizzas feels like an eternity.
River Jump: Nothing enraged me more as a kid than trying to win this one and NEVER being able to figure out how to get over THAT GODDAMN RIVER. Even now, I had to check the internet for an answer after all these years, and it still took me a few tries to nail. But one of my biggest accomplishments in the Year of Our Lord 2025 has absolutely been finally nailing a jump over the river. I deserve a gold medal for finally reaching this goal.
Overall, this is a whole lot of nothing? I have fun when I do well, and get unnaturally angry when I lose, as has been the case for the last 35 years with this game. This was definitely more fun with two players as a kid, and it's definitely made for competition with friends. On its own, it's really just a test of your wills versus your mental capacity to be disappointed by Charlie Brown's dog. I survived this time, but at what cost?