I don’t know why I downloaded this, it’s doesn’t look like something I would enjoy. I have a backlog full of probably much higher quality games but I spent some time on this. It’s free on PS plus that’s why and I thought, ‘what’s the harm in giving it a go, it might be fun?’

I shouldn’t be supporting games like this, even if I don’t spend money on it and it’s just a free download and some time put in. I wouldn’t even have PS Plus essential if I didn’t need it for online play. Now I have a bunch of games I feel somewhat obligated to try every month so I feel like I’m getting my money’s worth. Thanks Microsoft for making paying for online multiplayer the norm. You got into consoles because you were afraid Sony would take over everyone’s living room. You somehow convinced everyone to pay for online, while dead 360s were being stacked sky high at your doorstep. You abandoned your core audience and took a hard turn into Kinect. Then you had an interesting Xbox One reveal, that required a lot of back tracking and fixing your image. I haven’t played everything but it seems like you mishandled or messed up every successful series you had. You failed at providing healthy competition that would have been beneficial to us consumers. Now you are pushing the all digital/subscription future. Uncle Phil isn’t your buddy looking out for gamers interests he is the CEO of Microsoft Gaming. How is Xbox Game Pass really that different to what they were trying to do back at the Xbox One reveal? They just realised that you need a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. It’s funny and sad watching people laugh at or criticise the Xbox One reveal and then talk about how good of a deal Game Pass is. People don’t make the best decisions when they think they’ve got a good deal or are getting something for free, myself included. I already wasn’t planning on getting an Xbox Series console and their current direction, plus recent news, has strongly solidified that.

At least it wasn’t all bad. I still have my older Xbox consoles and I have good memories of games like Halo, Project Gotham Racing, Amped, Jet Set Radio Future, Ninja Gaiden, Forza, even Gears of War which I’m not the biggest fan of, and several others. Farewell Xbox…

Oh yeah Foamstars, let’s get back to that, I guess.

Foamstars is like a microwavable frozen meal. It lacks quality and quantity and it’s pretty questionable whether you should actually get it and try it. But sometimes you just don’t have the energy. You want to pull the packaging off something and press a button and just eat something because it gets the job done.

Foamstars is a lazy game you can throw on and not put any effort or much thought into. It’s an online multiplayer game you can play lying down. You don’t need to worry about communication or any of the negatives that come with that. You don’t need to worry about being competitive or not doing well. Don’t worry about skill, strategy, violence or language. Just put your feet up and shoot some bubbles. Sometimes a brainless activity like this can be beneficial. Sometimes you just need a break and there is some fun to be had here.

The monetization though. Wow. When I looked at the cost of things I laughed but then thought about how this game seems targeted at a younger audience and realised this is diabolical. It is like villain level stuff. Imagine making a game that, when you’re not hunting whales, you’re trying to separate children from their allowance, in a greedy, unfair way. Or you’re just relying on parents to not supervise their kids spending. That’s enough about this, don’t worry I won’t go on another tangent.

Apart from those issues Foamstars is so inoffensive that it’s almost offensive. It’s so bland and forgettable. It’s so bright and colourful and over the top but makes you feel nothing at all, except maybe slightly annoyed. But then you find out the characters actually secrete foam from their bodies. Think about that the whole time you’re playing, you’re welcome. I know I’m not the demographic they were going for but there isn’t much to like about the presentation, characters, dialogue and what little story there is. There is unskippable stuff too. But it’s got some quirks and the music isn’t bad.

The gameplay is okay, it’s four versus four, with a few different modes and there’s also a four player co-op mission mode or single player ones too. You have a main gun, two skills and a special and each character has their own set unique to them. None of it is really that good or satisfying to use. You need to foam up the map in your teams colour so you can surf around quicker while also taking on the other team at the same time. You have to keep hitting opponents until they are in a ball of foam, then they can be taken out or revived by a teammate. Obviously it’s not completely devoid of skill and a bit of strategy but there isn’t enough here. I wish you could move a bit more, like a dodge and a double jump would be cool. The missions are pretty bare bones, where you just face waves of enemies and there is a serious lack of variety in the versus modes too. It’s often too visually chaotic and takes too long to get back into matches as well. It is a bit of stress free fun but it isn’t good enough and has no lasting appeal. I had to change the region in the options to consistently get in matches too, so you might want to get in quick if you’re keen on trying this.

Is Foamstars a good use of your available free time/gaming time? No, no it’s not, but also kind of yes because sometimes you just want to chill, although there are most likely better ‘chill’ games available. It’s not a good game but when I’m in the right mood, I don’t mind getting foamed up.

3.9/10