Firewatch (2016)

If an argument between my wife and I gets heated, I normally will occupy myself with something until I cool down. I'll wash the dishes or take the trash out or whatever chores are left undone. As odd as it is, I find I am really productive during these times.

After some time passes, I calm down. Whatever I was getting worked up about comes into focus. When I remember that the full context of the situation includes loving my spouse eternally, I am able to return to my wife honest, humble and willing to listen. Cliche but true- our hardships make our relationship stronger.

As the game closes, Henry returns to his wife Julia. Hopefully to reconcile and care for her. We're not given a post script to explain whether or not he commits moving forward. Probably because Henry is partially you. You get to choose some of his decisions. So when given the option for Henry to return to his wife devoted, I choose that he does. Henry returns to his wife to live with her honestly- a lesson he picked up from Delilah. He comes back from his aside to share his love with the woman he is promised to whether she remembers him or not.

There aren't a whole lot of dramas in video games. Firewatch is essentially just a drama up until roughly the fourth hour. It ends up being a little disappointing for me that the game chooses to go the route of a thriller, something I've seen over and over again in games. Its choice to pursue something more tense removes the stillness that makes it really special. By adding in a third character who is spying on Henry and Delilah, I think Firewatch loses a bit of its heart. I don't have any personal journals about when my wife and I found out a person was stalking us. I don't want that journal entry either. The shift in the game takes it away from what makes it relatable and interesting.

A few years ago, a woman asked me to come up to her room with her. She didn't have a great excuse. There wasn't some alternate story about needing help with reaching something or getting her coffee pot working. The invitation was clear. I wore a ring, and so did she. I said no. I realized that affairs aren't glamorous as they are often portrayed on TV or movies. It can be a lonely person attempting to feel a little less lonely. It was a sad moment perhaps made sadder for her by me shutting her down.

I later told my wife that story later on. I thought of it as a positive moment in our relationship. I had overcome temptation certainly to make our relationship even stronger. My wife shut down after I told her. For her, another woman inviting me to cheat was enough to make her question herself. Was she losing me? How many more woman would make a pass at me before I would just give in? I realized then that our relationship needed to be held a little more gently. I just sat with my wife, stroking her hair.

Henry's relationship with his wife is nowhere near as strong as my relationship with my wife. He is much more susceptible to adultery. Not to say Delilah is actively enticing Henry. If anything she is just as lonely and broken as Henry is. Throughout the intro, Henry has cycled between looking for answers to his problems and looking to run away from his problems. With Day 64, Henry has embraced running. Julia is in the past/across the world. Delilah is just a few miles away. You can see her house from here.

John 8:32 says that the truth will set you free. The opposite is also certainly true. A lie will imprison us. Lying is often the quick way to get out of problems, but it will leave chaos in its wake. So many early issues in my marriage would have been solved if I had followed this simple obvious advice. But in the moment, saying I did what I didn't seemed like the quickest way to resolve. Only later for trust to be broken and for suspicion to build.

I don't remember much about my previous girlfriends before my wife. That says nothing of them (I'm sure they are all lovely people presently), but it says volumes about the impact of those relationships. When contrasted against my 13+ year relationship with my wife, the two 3 month relationships and the one 2 month relationship don't really register. My wife will always be with me in some way. Even if she were to leave me, her presence and memory will always be a part of me. While the bruises of past relationships have healed, if my wife were to leave me that scar would last forever.

This is when things begin to go wrong. So much good has come from the honesty afforded between Delilah and Henry. Their open communication has allowed Henry to grow... hopefully back to his wife. Delilah, however, is introducing deceit into their relationship. I refused all of her attempts to lie to the police, but the requests to lie are worrisome.

The sequence with Henry waking up to radio with Julia left my little heart aching. Whatever the future holds for Henry, one thing is certain- Julia will remain with him. He cannot forget his wife, even if she has forgotten him.

So many of life's best moments come from stillness. I've laughed my hardest when sitting with friends. I've had my most impactful moments with my children when talking to them at their bedside. My relationship with my wife has been solidified through quiet sessions of holding her in my arms. The nothing often is critical. The nothing is often life changing.

Henry is set to sit still. Hopefully this will be a time where he grows as a person. He reflects on his lost spouse and understands how to move forward. Hopefully he isn't just distracting himself with noise- doodling relative strangers as Delilah does. There is nothing wrong with the occasional distraction but hopefully it stays occasional.

Henry's line here eerily mirrors a quote I was going to put in a previous journal entry as I discussed my age. The quote comes from Bilbo Baggins early in Lord of the Rings. "I am old, Gandalf. I don't look it, but I am beginning to feel it in my heart of hearts." While it is important to embrace the stillness, I must reject exhaustion's lie that I am unable. I hope Henry doesn't lose faith- that his tiredness doesn't overtake him.

My wife and I have both struggled with depression throughout our lives. There was a period of time a few years ago that I was in a very dark place. I'm glad I'm not there anymore. I'm hoping not to end up there again. But there is a concern that exists within every damaged parent that they will pass down their sadness and pain to their child. It almost feels inevitable. The curse of sin permeates every cracks/splits every sinew/breaks every bond. And it is immediate. The task to overcome that feels insurmountable. But it is slowly through godly love that those relationships are mended. That things begin to heal again.

I appreciate for that reason that Henry is allowed to quickly be honest with Delilah. He is able to be open up and share what is lingering inside. Henry is almost immediately able to reveal his cuts and it is through this reveal that he can begin being sutured up again. Delilah certainly has her own flaws but mostly comes across as human. I wish my bosses showed this much care about me. Oftentimes we are scared to ask the deeper question. While it may be inappropriate or even cutting to push for an answer, simply asking the question almost always shows we care.

Are you okay?

PS- HLTB lied to me. They said this game would be four hours. I'm like three hours in and I know I'm nowhere near the finish line. I'll continue this journal even if I'm doing this tomorrow night too.

I started journaling after watching the Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling 2 years ago. I started as a way to keep track of my progress towards my goals. If I didn't strive to pay off loans, work on projects, track my fitness; I believed I never would have gotten to the life I want. Once I started journaling, I stopped focusing too much on goals. I instead reflected on myself.

I try to be very honest in my journaling. If I can't be honest with myself, I can't be honest with anyone. So there are entries on wicked thoughts. There are entries on impotent rage. There are entries that are meandering... but I think they are all beneficial. The more I understand myself, the more I can understand the world around me. I'm calmer and more understanding since journaling. I understand that I am many things. Hopefully that understanding results in me empathizing with many different kinds of people.

Henry seemingly has been happily living a life unexamined. He isn't dumb or inexperienced, but he doesn't want to dig to deeply into his own frustrations. He doesn't understand women. He doesn't understand the teens. He doesn't understand why his tower was vandalized. He's angry and he has nothing to do with his anger. He believes himself to be uniquely pitiable. Uniquely alone.

I brought the boombox back up to the top of the tower so at least Henry has that to keep him company.

I started dating my wife when I was 16. We got married before I turned 21. I'm now 30. I've been with the same woman for half my life. She is as much a grafted-in part of me as whatever roots I had before I met her. I am the person I am because of her. Even in our worst fights, I am wildly thankful for her and feel truly blessed to be married to such a sweet compassionate person.

I don't like contemplating the what-if my life would be without her. Not just the what-if-i-never-met-her. I have been terrified of the what-if-i-lose-her. What if I received the same terrible news Henry received? I...I don't know what I'd do. I do think it would be a time to rethink everything. While I still have four kids to take care, the idea of starting again- embracing the solitude of nature- it could be a starting point.

When my dad's mentor died, he planned to spend four days by himself just praying and thinking. After two days, my mom went to be with him; She went to keep him company. What if my mom wasn't in the picture? Where would my dad have landed? Would he be able to make it back to "okay"?

Pros:

• conversations feel natural
• nice graphics
• fine story

Cons:

• story curve
• forest feels lifeless sometimes
• got stuck in plants sometimes

I liked the idea of that you just talk through that radio set and it was interesting to hear the various reactions of D. The Forest was dense and diverse, but I missed some more Animals (at least in the beginning), you mostly just hear them. The end of the game was realy abrupt, but overall the story was fine.

Beat firewatch in about three days about an hour or so of play time each day. It's a short and simple game.

The game started off slightly boring. As it was only displaying text at first telling the background story of the character you will eventually control who takes a job as a fire watch to get away from life for a bit. The story is simple but it's laid out in a mysterious way that as simple as the twist is at the end it still manages to surprise you.

Controls were a little weird. As simple as the game was, i felt the controls were placed in an awkward position which could have been completely avoided with more natural button positions.

The map feature was good. I actually felt like i had to read a map realistically. Especially with me being in a wilderness.

Annoying details were at one point I hit a chain-linked fence i have to pass that's blocking the way. There is a gate but it's locked. The game has you go all the way across the map to find some fire fighters to take away from their fire control to break through the gate when you could have easily been able to climb it. Especially since your character can rock climb and rappel with ease. Would have been more believable if there was barbed wire at the top of the fence but there wasn't. This just annoyed the hell outta me while I traveled across the map knowing there was an easier way realistically. Secondly but not a big deal was I could talk on my talkie just fine in the cave but once I pass through the locked gate my signal dies completely. Literally one step took a great connection to zero connection .convenient for story purposes but unrealistic..

Free roam mode is pointless. Spent about a half an hour exploring places I already explored through main game, trying to find ways into points of the map i didn't get to in main game, but there was no access to these points. Am I missing something?

Overall a decent exploration game with decent storyline and graphics. One play through felt enough. Might be a little more fun playing in VR.