Hours played according to Steam: 6
Finished?: Yes
Head Notes: 1) As an Idle Thumbs listener, I've been aware of this game's development since before it had a title. 2) During undergrad, I did a long form research paper that included close readings of the parts of Kerouac's Dharma Bums and Desolation Angels where he spends a summer employed as a firewatcher in the Pacific Northwest. 3) I once ended a multi-year cohabiting, romantic relationship by taking off on a solo cross country bike ride.
Firewatch:
I lost my second playthrough of Firewatch. Curiosity got me.
At the end of a satisfyingly bittersweet first run, I grabbed the hand of the helicopter evac dude--completely surprised and delighted to see that the developers had gone through the trouble of modeling and animating this lone living Other in the very last moments of a four hour game that had otherwise tactfully avoided bodily human contact (save for poor Brian, long dead at the bottom of his lovely cave) and that had thoroughly embraced that rare but beautiful beast: the video game jump cut.
I had spent the game talking to Delilah over the radio, but I had already told her not to wait for me as I tried to hightail it to her lookout tower. Two months had elapsed in the story, but it was the first time my character, Henry, would have the gear and/or will to cover the last mile or so to get there. I told her to go not out of chivalry (romantic or otherwise) or fear, but because it was the practical choice--no need to endanger her life too. I can't say for certain because I've decided not to look into it, but I suspect that even had I taken the bait and asked her to wait for me, she would not have done so. And I thought that this was at least as much a practical likelihood as a narrative one--because why go through the trouble of creating a body for that voice in the last moments of the game, unless the story was going to suddenly and treacherously turn into a sappy, bald-faced romance.
But then, after a moment to study the spartan trappings of Delilah's empty tower, Helicopter Man put out his hand and whisked me away to the credit sequence. It felt like a sincere and fitting end for Henry's not entirely lonely summer.
But I couldn't leave well enough alone. The gamer in me--and now, I suppose, the blogger also--wanted to know how things might have gone for a different Henry. So a week or so later, I loaded back up, with the explicit idea of a Henry who really, truly hated himself and had no patience for Delilah's banter.
Firewatch begins as a text adventure. "You are Henry," it says, and you make a set of binary choices as Henry begins to court Julia circa 1975. Time passes quickly, Henry and Julia get married and in small degrees, you influence the tone of their relationship. But no matter your choices, the relationship is heading for tragedy as Julia drifts into early-onset Alzheimer's.
In both of my playthroughs, when Henry and Julia decide to get a dog, I went along with Julia's choice of a beagle, instead of suggesting the German shepherd that could "keep her safe." Personally, I would have argued that beagles are usually obnoxious howlers and suggested we keep looking, but that did not occur to Henry, and pushing the German shepherd on Julia just seemed misguided and controlling. Likewise, when one of the bigger choices--whether to support Julia in her opportunity to take a professorship at Yale--came up, I settled for Henry's stubborn refusal to move and told Julia to take the position, both times--and both times, Julia and Henry suffered the pains of a long distance relationship. I could not stomach being a Henry so thoroughly stupid and selfish that he would ask his wife to give up on her dreams. My Henry has his share of the usual human foolishness and frailties, but he isn't a sociopath.
My second Henry though, was a less rational being than my first, and when the game asked me to decide whether to send Julia to an assisted living facility or to have Henry try to take care of her himself--Second Henry decided to shoulder that load on his own. It did not go well. To compensate for the stresses and hopelessness of his situation, Henry starts to drink more. He makes bad choices. He gets a DUI, and, ultimately, Julia's family intercedes and takes her away.
In this narrative, Second Henry takes the job as a firewatcher full of self-loathing. Both Henrys were looking to get their heads right after having their worlds fall apart, but Second Henry may be running from his alcoholism as well. And so far, this all fit with my idea for the second playthrough--it even added extra dimension to the drama because I know from my first go round that Delilah likes a drink or five, meaning that Henry would have to wrestle with either being sympathetic toward that aspect of her personality or repulsed by having his own weakness reflected back to him.
But an hour and half into that second playthrough, I couldn't be Second Henry anymore.. As it makes clear from the start, Firewatch is at least as much a game about relationships as it is about exploring and meeting goals in the lovingly crafted wooded areas surrounding Henry's tower. It is also about the tension of escapism--about indulging the impulse to get lost while tacitly keeping an eye toward home. Ironically, Second Henry was so busy trying to maintain a guarded stance toward Delilah that he may as well have stayed home. Aside from some Metroid/Zelda gating tools found along the way, Henry has very few opportunities to interact with or have an impact on the world outside of the "reports" that he makes to Delilah. By refusing to report, Second Henry was largely refusing to interact, and therefor, play the game.
Simply put: playing as Second Henry was too miserable an experience to make it worth my while--so I quit. While it could be argued that this is a real shortcoming of the game--failing to provide avenues for playing to fit the type of character that I was attempting to create--I am looking at it as an authored fail state. From the very start of the game, we are asked to create a negotiated Henry--a Henry with a history, with certain fixed qualities and a limited set of malleable traits. This stands in strict counterpoint to the typical Everyman Amnesiac video game hero. Too often, games feature an emotional range that is hamstrung by that storytelling approach.
Firewatch asks its players to work with Henry, not be Henry. My second approach to working Henry lacked the grace of my first attempt. I have, in my own ways, studied and been the kind of guy who runs off into the wilderness and First Henry was largely a seamless reflection of what I knew and could guess about Henry and his motivations. My attempt at Second Henry was to some extent an effort to reconcile the few moments where First Henry's experiences and responses didn't entirely jibe with my understanding of the character. Heavy drinking Delilah might jump rashly to conclusions and be given to paranoia, but First Henry didn't strike me as the excitable or reactionary type. So, in that way, Firewatch also conjured Second Henry into existence, but ultimately, neither of us were willing to support the lout.
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