Actual Sunlight (2013)

Actual Sunlight certainly isn't for everyone. It's also not a traditional game either, no high scores, no items to collect, no bosses to battle. Instead, it's an interactive narrative that sheds light on how depression can take root in someone's mind.

Creator Will O'Neill, has constructed a world where depression is in full control of the protagonist's (Evan Winter) thoughts and actions, eventually leading him to suicide.

It's a tough read and, I often found myself agreeing with much of Winter's cynical outlook on life; Yes life can be so monotonous; Yes corporate life can be so hollow; Yes we are just a slave to capitalism.

However, it's the moments where the narrative teases glimmers of hope which struck the loudest chord for me. Those moments where Winters could have taken a step towards something better, but instead ignored it in favour of fantasy, self-loathing or another dopamine hit. It was those moments that were a shattering reminder of what this game is about: Depression. And how it shrouds in darkness the possible exits from its prison.

The writing was fantastic. While the game isn't very long, we get to know the characters deeply.

What really holds the game back is that it is more of an interactive novel than an actual game. That said, it's still something I would recommend.

*Post Edit thoughts - dropping this to 2 stars as I sit here reflecting on the story that was told. I want to know more about the relationships with his co-workers. As the game is overflowing with backstory on every intractable imaginable, it just feels like the ending is missing some details.

Capsule thoughts here, at the end is a link to my full review.

Tough to separate my personal connection with Actual Sunlight's depiction of depression and mental illness from the affect of playing the game. That the connection exists to begin with speaks to the intense accuracy that Will O'Neill brings to depicting the persistent agony of depression which goes double for his insight into corporate life.

The repetition of getting up, mindless clicking on objects hoping for insight, and private musings about the pain others are going through is keenly felt. This is a good meeting of mechanics - of which there are few - and O'Neill's writing. I loathed his follow-up, Little Red Lies, but his self-effacing take on the dehumanizing influence of corporate culture and the minimally pacifying emptiness of consumption leads to a painfully open ended conclusion.

http://www.cantstopthemovies.com/2018/03/actual-sunlight-2013/

I do not think that there are words to describe how horrible this game is. It is not a video game. It is not a visual novel. It is not "art". It is complete rubbish. From the moment you see the "network connectivity may be lost during game play" message when loading, anyone who actually played this game will know this is where the pain starts. From the annoying drilling sound of the ridiculous amount of text you have to read when it scrolls across the screen, to the menus that force your decisions for you, by the time you finish this "game" you will appreciate literal actual sunlight. Trophies are handed to you and present no challenge, which makes this game even more of a joke.

Completing this game is an act of self-torture, and I hate myself for playing it. This is absolutely the worst game I have ever played.